I lost the ME in my marriage!

Who AM I? What is MY purpose here on this earth? How did I get to this a place where I can’t even identify or recognize myself?  Who was I before I got married? What type of things did I enjoy?


I lost the girl I used to be. The girl who woke up early to fix her hair, apply her make-up, made sure that her clothes were in tack, to now this woman who was unhappily tired, emotionally and mentally drained, to help mate, taxi, counselor, motivator, but who was she really.


Have you ever focused so much on life; the children, you career, the family, your friends and your spouse) that you forgot to take time out for YOU?  Does this sound like YOU?


That was ME!


I remember always coming home feeling lonely, unfulfilled and unhappy. My job needed me, my kids needed me, my parents needed me, my husband needed me, however, I needed me more than I knew. I found myself overly engulfed in supporting my husband’s dreams and my children’s development that I completely lost myself.


Frustrated, nervous, feeling pains and anxiety of the urge of just wanting to feel what it felt like to finally do and think about fulfilling my wants and needs first.


As crazy as it may sound, I was becoming more and more unhealthy in this relationship with myself. I was had an internal battle within myself that led to depression and anxiety.


My husband did not believe in ME time. I would laugh and say “Yeah, ok!” I eventually stopped requesting me this type of time and settled for the extra five minutes in the bathroom or the thirty-minute drive into work, just to try and avoid an argument.

Well four years ago, my husband and I were on the verge of divorce and for the 1st time in our marriage, I just knew deep down that it was over. That was it! I had enough! I just wanted to be single and by myself.


There was only one problem. After all these years, I was finally at a place where I could be me.

But, who was that person? Who are you? You must find her again! How?


That is the moment I realized that I completely lost ME in my marriage.


“Me Time” in Marriage is important and a MUST. This time is not selfish! This time is much needed! This time is required!


#1: Take the time to have quality time to yourself.

This is the healthiest thing you can do for you and your family to prevent the burn-out.


#2: Find a hobby/activity that can enjoy or just take the time to be by yourself

Don’t stop doing the things you love to do.


#3: Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself

You must be discipline in accomplishing these goals. Once you do you will feel your sense of power again


#4: Know YOUR worth

Know that you are worth of this time alone and that you are doing this so that you can remain complete.


When you have a sense of purpose and balance within yourself you tend to be happier in any relationship, especially your self-ship.

Check the lost and found and find the YOU again! SHE is waiting to be found.

Then, let everyday begin with YOU!


        Monica Reed


Monica Reed is the founder “My Marriage Matters” FB community. The community focuses on married couples connecting to get keep marriage positive, celebrate marriage and encourage each other in their journey.


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